Why can't I fit in with others?

Hello, and thank you for reading this.


I am a 23 year old college student and have the most wonderful girlfriend who I get along with great. I feel that in general, as a shy person, I do not fit in with others, that is, people my age group and even others of similar interest to me. At school I feel much more mature and goal oriented than my peers. I went to a metal concert with my girlfriend and we did not have a good time because we didn't "blend in" and people acted very rude to us...pushing/shoving/standing in front of us. My girlfriend has a skin condition that causes her to have acne appearing tumors on her face, and everyone stares at her, making most public situations in general awkward. I feel that I (or we both) are possibly way to mature for our age and because we don't drink/smoke/whatever we don't fit in (not that we would do anything to that is). I feel that society is becoming more "corrupt" and this is simply a sign of the end of times (the comming of Christ). Help...

Why can't I fit in with others?
I'm 21. I'm just like you, "shy." And I have certain standards for myself as well.





I think its hard for us to take to others, and since we feel people aren't like us and do things we aren't cool with- I think that puts us in defense mode.





So instead of opening up to new people, we are quick to say they are negative and dislike us, whether its a fact or not. And how are you gonna enjoy yourself at that concert if you felt like everyone hated you? If you tried to just live in the moment with the rest of the crowd, you'd feel better.





I think its like "fight or flight" defense mechnism. I go clubbing with my friends, but I don't like talking to the guys that come on to us. And those guys nag me about it and I get upset. I feel those guys are rowdy and annoying. But if I would've made small talk with them, like my friends had, I probably would've enjoyed myself more-cuz those guys wouldn't accuse me of having an attitude.





But then again its my right to act how I want, just like they have rights. I just think things would've been smoother if I weren't so judgemental.





And for your girlfriend's sake try to be a bit more outgoing, like I mentioned before, how can we have fun with people if we think they hate us???





If people are staring at your girlfriend, just hold her closer and make her feel safe. She has to be more outgoing as well. Sometimes when we get shy and defensive, we are critical to people...who sometimes turn out to be not so bad, even if they drink or smoke, that's their business-as long as they don't pressure you to join them.





Your girlfriend might interact with cool people, everyone gets stared at or talked about, the world is just that negative and catty. But you two have each other! And surely you two aren't the only nice people out there, you have to be open minded.





Try it! You might enjoy yourself next time out. I think I'll try my own advice this weekend, lol.
Reply:My question to you is why would you want to fit in with others who has such a different life style as yours and your girlfriend? I would want to avoid them, not be among them. Stay with people who believe as you do, and you will find the approval and support system you need from others your own age.
Reply:Thank God you have your girlfriend. You are too mature for those mindless kids. Find music you like. Find movies you like. Find social groups that interest you. You're 23. That's past high school and the need to fit in. Find people with similar interests as you and your gilrfriend. She will not have acne her whole life. She likes you and you see beyond the superficial. Be yourself. Do what you love. You will be much happier that way. Good luck!
Reply:I will leave this quote by the great Oakland California rapper Too Short "Get in, where you fit in."


I think it is self explanatory.

ivy